About 13 year ago I started to discover that the truth was in fact the complete opposite. It was a huge mind shift I recall at the time for me, to even open up to the possibility that Vulnerability could be a strength and not a weakness. After all I had spent so many of my early years stuffing down emotion and getting strong so I thought.
A friend of mine said to me, years after my mother died when I was 14yrs that she recalled me telling her at the funeral of my mother, that my Aunt had told me I needed to not cry and be strong for everyone. Personally I do not recall that memory and was kinda shocked and not at the same time when I heard this. I think the shock was mostly at the fact of how I could forget that I said something like this and yet a perfect reminder that this was just how life was then.
I first heard this concept of Vulnerability being a strength not a weakness in a Access Consciousness Class when I lived in Jersey Island, U.K. Since then I have continued to discover that the more vulnerable I am willing to be, the more it opens up my feminine quality of receptivity and allowing life to come forth to support me. I discovered that to be vulnerable is to be a big open heart, transparent in emotion when touched by life, having a natural release of yesterdays pain or any unexpressed emotion. That in fact be vulnerable is powerful and is a beautiful feminine caring, creative, connecting and allowing universal principle or law.
To be vulnerable is to be powerful beyond measure and it takes determination, courage and faith to open into it especially in the beginning stages of trying it out. The more vulnerable I have the courage, love, caring and sincerity to be with others, the more they can with me. Nowadays I sometimes purposefully share with people my stories when inspired to do so of course, so as to give them the green light should they like to take it, to share perhaps something they have never dare share with anyone else before.
I would be telling fibs if I said I had this BEing vulnerable thing down as a fine art. My little girl self still gets triggered sometimes as I move into greater expansion and step out from behind the shields of the many protective ways I used to use to stay reasonable comfortable, externally strong and safe in my world; like staying small, unseen, agreeable, valued in the eyes of others, avoid being judged, be a good worker, keeping the peace.
Sometimes when a part of me gets triggered I instantaneously close my vulnerable open heart and instead my warrior protector masculine quality self steps forth to guard the door of perceived potential danger. The warrior like guard is watchful and will not allow anyone or anything in unless they prove themselves worthy to gain access and hence all defence mechanism can drop away ( ego game for the most part ! ). In those moments when my heart closes and my mental chatter takes over and rabbits on in its defence; wary of the world, feeling in unsupported mode ! I notice that my body tenses further and the rabbit hole starts to open up more with imagined worries and fears that something is wrong, I missed something important, I am not liked or received in the eyes of others or there is just something unknown to be wary of out there in the suspicious world. I can't trust life or the universe.
Of course NOW a days as I live my more awakened, wiser and connected to my higher self reality, I know better than to allow the imagined child like (egoic) fears run amok with my mind and emotions. I have become instead better and better at mothering these fragmented and usually wounded younger selfs by witnesses these parts of self, acknowledging the underlining issues and concerns from there child like perceptions, loving them until I feel the shift within, that signifies they have been finally giving the opportunity to be deeply seen, heard by a compassionate understanding ear i.e expanded awareness self. Then I tenderly when the moment is right invite them to reunite and integrate once again into my big, beautiful, powerful, vulnerable heart and the infinite doorway to ALL THAT IS .......IS ......ISNESS.
( Some people may call this inner child work, I prefer inner child acknowledgement and integrative play. Plus it really does not need to take more than a few committed moments of ones time ).
ISNESS a place beyond time and space; the vastness beyond words, where all is inclusive for all IS. Call it LOVE, NATURE, HIGHER SELF, GOD, ONENESS, GREAT SPIRIT or what ever takes your fancy.
Once reunited and integrated into the ONENESS I AM, I have even more access to my innate energy, zing and determination to weave my hearts dreams into reality by the harnessing of my imagination and feeling intelligent body into a place where it is already DONE. I feel it, I sense it, I imagine it and so it joyfully and delightfully becomes.
For as Einstein said " imagination is more powerful than knowledge" and hence we must learn to use it wisely and purposefully in the direction we prefer to experience our life trajectory.
No one can actually make us change or do something unless we choose it to be so. Sure we can be steered and manipulated to go a certain direction and make a certain choice to suit the agenda of others. However the choice is always ours at the core. In fact what we choose no matter what it is with 100% absolute commitment, faith and belief has to align, it is a universal law of creation.
Want to learn the 'HOW TO'S' for yourself and embody your own authentic experience ?
August 4th-6th I will be co-facilitating INSPIRED BUSINESS FOR WOMENS 2 day well being Retreat with my co-host Roisin Brady. EMAIL HERE
Alternatively complete the contact form in the footer of this webpage with your preferred dates and length of stay at Vibrant Living Retreat.