Awakening from the insanity to go beyond the limitations of the mental mind .
Right now in a big way the collective dirty laundry is on the sink. The attics are getting a good clean out, the floor boards are been pulled up, the old paint taken off to reveal what hides behind it; the lies, the deceit, the abuse, the unspoken truth, the unforgiving, the blame, the shame, the games, the agendas, the terrifying fear of lost of all kinds that relate to human survival, the control, the enslavement, the division, the ability to pit one against another plus spread fear / lack at the drop of a hat ( media reporting ) and the extreme levels of coercion being openly displayed and encouraged for all eyes to see and ears to hear if willing .
In 2010 I had a life Perceptual changing kundalini awakening experience and re-remembered I was / had the universe inside of me, yes I AM / we each are the microcosm of the macrocosm and vice sa versa hence “ as above so below “ and “ as within so wIthout “ and all that awakening jazz talk ( awareness of what is ~ isness I AM ).
I went from the perception of seeing my life through the lens of my separated limited ego to that of my expansive soul and higher self vision ( Universal awareness ) or simply stated deeper authentic beingness connected to all that is.
I became aware of how the energy moved through my body and was pushing all and any old energies ( unresolved emotions and patterns ) from my cells and energy field to the surface to be returned to zero point field via acknowledgment, acceptance, forgiveness and divine love.
I knew this was what was happening on the earth too. It felt like the torus field on multiply levels of awareness simultaneously doing it’s thing to move the energies into a more natural flow and make room for expansion of new thought and possibilities to emerge, be felt and experienced by more and more people.
After that experience so many things resonated like certain phrases and quotes from master teachers and wise ones before me. I found myself really getting what Jesus ( Yeshua ) meant by some of the things I had heard in my child hood suddenly coming to mind - heart awareness after years of giving anything with Jesus / God / Angels a wide birth. This would expand even more in 2011 as my hearted cracked open even wider to accept more of the Christ consciousness within to be revealed.
I also began resonanting with and understanding as a beautiful and wise simplicity the messages from the Budda and Einstein and Rumi to mention just a few. My interest grew stronger and stronger in the healing arts and messages of empowerment that resonated deeply with my heart. My new language became that of energy awareness and observing energy dynamics within myself and others.
All of a Sudden I could discern more clearly what resonated with my soul and what did not. I also had to learn some strong lessons around all this too to really know and accept and surrender to what the truer passions and visions of my souls are without the Ego mind doubts, resistance, denial and learning to become more trusting of my authentic self.
There was no going back into the ‘small me ‘ box even though many times I wanted to and still do in some moments to lesser degrees. Sometimes hiding out in the shadows can seem more comfortable and safe and familiar than having to have the courage to face our own light as crazy as that may seem.
For weeks after I had to write a stream of consciousness blogs to give expression to the amount of energy moving through me that would wake me up at night. I still intent to go back and edit those blogs some day.
To move the energies I had to discover and commit to practicing daily well-being alignment tools, healing modalities and high vibrationally resources and Move towards mentor guides of high integrity and resonant guidance and sometime tough love to support me.
Sometimes the ones I thought had my back had to turn away from me so I could turn closer towards me and drop the old 3D games I use to play, we all use to play and many still do. The games of conditional love & acceptance, the games of manipulation to get needs met, the hand of obligations out of guilt and shame, the games of inauthenticity , the games of avoiding fears and confrontations , The games of playing poor me victim roles or power tripping over roles ( And residual victim / persecutor dynamic ) etc
There was times when I felt utterly alone, overwhelmed and my only option after much Inner turmoil / conflict and sometimes great pain and discomfort in my body was to surrender again and again to the intense fears and habits of avoidance and harsh judgements and face it all in order to realise again and again that was not whom I was. It all only had power over me because I believed it had, I gave it the power.
Once I faced the fears , as if by magic life seemed to rearrange itself and all that I feared transformed into innocence and joy and freedom once more. Like Dorothy in the wizard of OZ it was as if I clicked my shoes and I was home In my heart again knowing I had the power all along.
Mesmerised in Wow and OMGs pronouncing to myself , is this who we really are ? it is !!! And yet how could I ever really explain this to anyone, it has to be experienced first hand to really understand.
The awakening journey has continued as I unpacked my human Heavy dense load also known as raising vibrations.
Over the last decade + I have had to Become aware of and then resolve and heal limiting ancestry stuff, past life stuff, inner child stuff.
In 2019 much to my amazement I was finally ready to open a door in my psyche to feel and finally accept / be a safe welcoming stable space for the intense grief , sadness and abandonment feelings and emotions from childhood to rise and be set free. I had four months where I got sores all over my body and face as my cells released the anger and pain from when I was 3-6yrs old while living in two children’s homes.
Anyways I share this only to say keep the faith folks. “ this too shall pass “.
I know it is frickin intense. The awakening stuff is not for the faint hearted. Hence why I will remind you again and again as I have been reminded that you are a courageous and magnificent soul. Go within to keep finding out.
It is confronting as hell ( literally ) and is intended to rip through any and all our bull shit ( stuck energy ) that has limited our vision and expression and knowing of whom and what we truly are. Underneath the crap of yester years cover up jobs ( the many egoic identity hats & personas ) stored away is so much natural beauty to behold and embrace and celebrate within each sacred heart and being.
It is a simplicity that goes beyond words and yet words will be used like a paint brush again and again to attempt to capture the incredible artistry and spirit of the HUman master piece finally ready to reveal itself to itself.
After the storms will become the calm again.
Be at the centre of the storms as much as you can, bring peace and resolution through compassion to all inner ~ outer conflicts and move through the eye of the needle with as much grace as you can muster. However at times just accept it ain’t going to look or feel graceful and yet grace is there always to return to again and again and again.
Namaste Dearest Awakening and beloved Hearts.
Wellness & QHHT Facilitator, Yoga Guide, H.I. Massage Trainer and Divine Love Ambassador.
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