Over the years people have sometimes commented on my post that I am brave. Brave to have gone through what I went through in my childhood, brave to be vulnerable enough to make a FB live and share some of those stories, those emotions, those truths and my healing transformational journey.
When I have seen those comments over the years I could not help but think and often responded with ‘ that the real insanity of our world is that it seems brave and courageous to be authentic and ourselves’. For all I was ever doing, was being honest and raw and real to the best of my ability in that moment for it was healing and empowering for myself and if it could touch another with a resonance then woohoo the icing on the cake so too speak.
AND yes the truth is it does take bravery and courage in a world that has conditioned us all as Young children to fit into line and be good girls and boys according to others rule books and often that meant separating from at least a part of our natural whole self.
If you were extra fortunate ( or misforunate ) like me you got the Catholic Church dogma telling you that you were sinful and needed to confess for your sins regularly too .. ( just for simply being born and existing ).
God, love my mum whom was so disempowered and traumatised by her life that she looked towards me for reassurance as a young child. With so much fear in her eyes and urgency in her posture she would ask me sincerely “ will the devil get me “. I remember once begging her to please not ask me these kind of questions when my friend visited and pls don’t embarrass me !
I was a teenage trying to find my sense of identity and I was super low in self esteem and self conscious at the time ( Of course outwardly trying to appear strong ! ) . Well my pleads did not work and my mum could not help herself. She asked me in front of my friend, over come with a mind of fearful thoughts “ will the devil get me ? ". I ran to the bathroom and cried and cried I was so ashamed and embarrassed she did this in front of my Visiting friend. ( Yapp not too many friends got invited to my hse back then ) .
Little did I know at the time it would be only another couple of years before my mum would die of a sudden heart attack brought on my two types of medications she had taken while spending time in a psyche ward. Of course no one ever took responsibility and said she somehow took the meds herself, only thing was it was actually a locked up psyche ward so she would not have had access to the meds.
So why am I sharing all this story ? Well because as I sipped a glass of wine with my dinner this afternoon staring into the fire I was reflecting on the insanity of our world when today I felt courageous for simply going to my local super market in my little village with no facial covering on while everyone else in the shop worn one. It felt like the Simon says effect , only Simon is called Jacinta and that other guy with the glasses.
How fricken crazy is it to live in a time where it takes courage to stand out of the crowd in your local super market and be different by revealing your lips, chin and nose and offering your full facial expression for all to decode like nature intended. I felt like a wild women, a rebel, a women willing to stand alone and be different walking around a local village shop picking up a few groceries. To support my inner courage, I invoked the angels before I went in to protect me and guide my communications. My heart fluttered with a self awareness of being different, my younger shy self felt exposed and a bit uncomfortable... what a irony ..right. Then my mature adult ( healed whole authentic ) self supported me to stand up taller and be who you truly are and what you truly know deep within your heart body soul. Trust yourself ! ! !
As I reflected and stared into the fire sipping my glass of wine later , somehow my child hood memory of my mum asking “ is the devil going to get me “ and the current fear in peeps of getting the so called spread of the C Word ( once upon you would presume it meant cancer but not post 2020!) all seemed to over lap and be a much of a muchness that goes under the heading of fear, conformity, desperately being good girls and boys so not cause any trouble or be judged , wanting to do the right thing by others and follow the rules , the instructions in the hopes of a more peaceful sleep at night etc .
My mum was afraid of the devil because she was brought up a good catholic girl and that fear of the devil had been conditioned into her innocent and traumatised mind. So when the stresses of life and motherhood and having no emotional support with post natal depression and a concoctions of meds worked her to greater and greater mental imbalances within her mind and caused her to be ungrounded emotionally. Her subconscious mind got stuck on this deep fear, belief and insecurity “ will the devil get me”. She paced the floors smoking her cigarettes in deep thoughts about these kind of possibilities.
Now I ask how many perceives the C as the devil and the V as Gods grace coming to save them from that wicked evil that could be coming for you if you don’t comply ?
I cried this afternoon, feeling just like a child that witnesses the grown ups do things that make no sense to the empowerment and harmonisation of heart, body, mind and soul. Instead I witness those that are hurting themselves in the longer run by trying to be the good human and abiding citizens.
I know deeper down this is all part of the greater awakening of our humanity. Still it is so sad at how insane it all has to get for people to wake up and snap out of the trance so instilled by mass media and re-remember whom one is beyond the perceptions and story lines of restrictions; limitations of thoughts, beliefs and fears.
For " As you believe, it is given onto you " .. you are the power beyond measure !!!
We sure live in crazy times. Heck I grow up in crazy times and many would think oh poor you. F__k no I say lucky me , for it all allowed me to realise at a young age that there has to be more to life than this ; human suffering , distrusting of oneself and others, chasing the dollars, unnecessary traumas, unforgiveness, blame and shame games , control and manipulation, believing in a vengeful God, feelings of unworthiness , harsh judgements of self and hence others , lack of unconditional love and openness to self and hence others . . .
I have done my best to be an example to myself first and foremost by taking a chance on my heart again and again over the years and dismissing the fearful thoughts and limitations of my mind and conditioning. This lead me to heal and transform and realise that yes there is a very different way to live and create our life’s on earth as empowered creators.
That journey took me into building a stronger and stronger foundation within myself and soulful connection that could then go onto support 1000’s of others Uplift and empower themselves too.
People feel and witness my deep soulful passions, compassion for the messy human journey and vibrations of truth and authenticity when they are with me.
Now you know where some of that deep passion / compassion comes from. I am forever grateful to my mum and to witness her sufferings and hardship to be a women in a world where her psyche intuitive gifts were not acknowledged and supported in the least, instead they put people like her into mental hospitals and numbed them out with meds and who knows what else " out of sight , out of mind ". Like many whom get on the medication roundabout she was stuck between a wall and a hard place, death was a welcomed relief when it came. She was scared no matter what for the fear followed her home and back to the hospital again and again and again over my younger years. So yes I got to witness my mum live a utterly disempowered and disharmonious out of balance life as a women on earth constantly harassed by this fear of a imagined evil called “ The Devil “, well maybe he was real in her own psyche and unresolved traumas of the past that caused her a lot of unrest.
Through healing and empowering myself and returning to the light of my soul, I have been so honoured to be able to assist my mum in spirit by offering her my understanding, compassion , forgiveness, appreciation and love. Something I could not have done until I healed deeply within myself. It took many years and one day I will write the books.
At this stage of my soulful human journey I am not afraid of death or of any C words or ailments, for I trust my body and inner guidance to navigate these types of experiences as gracefully as possible. What scares and concerns me more is fearful humans that have become so disconnected and distrusting of there own hearts and inner guidance that they react unconsciously for the greater good . A world where the government entities has become the surrogate parents , the surrogate gods ... to little inner children in adult bodies programmed, insecure and afraid to get it wrong, to be different, to be judged, to be out of control , to be inappropriate, unacceptable to others, to feel guilt or shame at being inadequate.
The awakening of humanity is the growing up of those little inner children afraid and insecure feeling unable to be oneself authentically in a harsh world. Hearts and minds and emotions and bodies will require much healing, balancing, harmonising and supporting in the coming years. We are a traumatised bunch , so much more than many people currently realised but they will as the insanity gets more twisted and can’t be denied or justified away anymore. It is time to mature and take responsibility for our energies and discover how to direct our thoughts and feeling bodies to imagine and create the world we truly are ready to receive and experience.
Namaste dear hearts
Sending so much love and tenderness to your inner child self navigating these times as so much is brought up to the surface of our world and psyches to be seen, felt, acknowledged, accepted and released back into the eternal light once more with acceptance, compassion, love and wisdom born.
So much new creations is here and on the horizon. So much to be excited and trilled about. From crisis is born forth fabulous clarity and focus of solutions desired and required .
“ All is well in all creation “
Written By Mary Jo.
Copied from my Personal Face Book page August 20th 2021
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